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Lyrics

Nutso Smasho (1997)
Ugly American
I've got no culture but Mcdonald's and Coke. 
if yours goes any deeper, well I'll treat it like a joke. 
Don't know anything about foreign policy. 
If there's a problem I say, "Send the marines!" 
Ugly American 
I'm an Ugly American 
You call me an Ugly American. 
Proud to be an Ugly American. 
Your Customs and traditions, well I think they're fucking wierd. 
There's nothing good about foreigners except for foreign beer. 
I want to go vacation in a third world paradise. 
Vomit on their beaches, I don't care about their squalid lives. 
Ugly American 
I'm an Ugly American 
You call me an Ugly American. 
Proud to be an Ugly American. 
Ugly American. 
I'm an Ugly American. 
You call me an Ugly American 
Proud to be an Ugly American 
Better speak my language or I won't know what you're saying. 
Better do it my way cuz I'm the one who's paying. 
I'm a trailer court elitist but I've got no class. 
I'm from the United States of Kiss My Ass. 
Ugly American 
I'm and Ugly American 
You call me an Ugly American. 
Proud to be an Ugly American. 
Ugly American. 
I'm an Ugly American. 
You call me an Ugly American 
Proud to be an Ugly American


Beer Run
Ya get to the party and yell out,
"Who's got the cups?"
You're on a mission,
a mission to get fucked up.
Ya baby-sit the keg until
It's spittin' out just foam.
Yer just gettin' buzzed so
there's no talk of goin' home
Beer run! Beer run!
The keg is fried, let's get
another one.
Beer run! Beer run!
It's way too early to end the fun.
Beer run! Beer run!
The kegs have run dry but we've
got money form the door.
We got empties for deposit so we
can get a couple more.
We've only got ten minutes
to make it to the liquor store
Get yer ass in gear or this night'll
be a fuckin' bore.
Beer run! Beer run!
The keg is fried, let's get
another one.
Beer run! Beer run!
It's way too early to end the fun.
Beer run! Beer run!
Hurry up and name yer poison
I want another beer bong
Any ball-tap keg'll do
fuck that leaky two-prong
All of 'em have alcohol
so just grab the cheapest one.
Let's get back to the party and
roll out that barrel of fun!
Beer run! Beer run!
The keg is fried, let's get
another one.
Beer run! Beer run!
It's way too early to end the fun.
Beer run! Beer run!
You're on a mission,
a mission to get fucked up.
Head to the store,
To get some more.
Have no fear,
There'll be more beer.
The taps will flow
We'll do some blow
Cuz we're not done,
Can't end the fun.
BEER RUN!!!

Drunk Tank
Last call has come and gone for us
down at our favorite bar.
We got more beer at home but
we can't walk cuz' its too far
Got a brand new set of wheel, and
it's parked right out in the back
it's called the DRUNK TANK
and it's hell on tracks!
We're having trouble walking
so i guess we better drive.
Don't even have to worry
if we'll make it home alive.
With twenty-seven tons
of fine carbon steel,
it doesn't matter if you're fucked up
when you get behind the wheel!
Lock and load get on the road,
in the Drunk Tank!
Grinding gears and pounding beers,
in the Drunk Tank!
Inebriated, Amout plated,
in the Drunk Tank!
Drive and swill and shoot to kill,
in the Drunk Tank!
Set off to the bar
with happy hour in out sights.
Several hours later
we'll be blacked out in a fire fight.
Cut off by the bartender
we'll drive right through the door
With a cannon pointed at his head
I bet he'll serve some more
Flashing reds behind us
but we won't pull to the side
Swivel 'round the turret
Johnny-law had better hide
Let loose with the machine gun,
watch his car disintegrate.
Now he's writing tickets
from the wrong side of hell's gates
Lock and load get on the road,
in the Drunk Tank!
Grinding gears and pounding beers,
in the Drunk Tank!
Inebriated, Amout plated,
in the Drunk Tank!
Drive and swill and shoot to kill,
in the Drunk Tank!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!
Drunk tank!!!

NicFit
Sitting in my room
and I find I'm outa smokes.
All my money went to beer
so now I'm fucking broke
Need a drag of something
so I'm digging through the couch.
I roll up all the butts
from every ashtray in the house
I got a couple shitty smokes
but there's still a case of beer
I haven't gone this long
without a smoke in fucking years
with all this speed that's in my brain.
If I dont get some cigarettes
I'm gonna go insane.
Nic-fit! Nic-fit!
Nic-fit! Nic-fit!
Nic-fit! Nic-fit!
Sitting in my room
and I find I'm out of smokes.
All my money went to beer
so now I'm fucking broke
Need a drag of something
so I'm digging through the couch.
I roll up all the butts
from every ashtray in the house
I got a couple shitty smokes
but there's still a case of beer
I haven't gone this long
without a smoke in fucking years
with all this speed that's in my brain.
If I dont get some cigarettes
I'm gonna go insane.

Pig Roast
Theres a party at my place
Bring a healthy appetite and a liter or a case.
We got a barbecue pit out back of the house
Turning on a spit with an apple in his mouth,
Is the walkin' slab of bacon that tried shutting us down.
Now he's basted in beer and turning golden brown
Pig roast! It's my favorite meal
Pig roast! Let's hear you squeal
Pig roast! It's a hell of a deal
Cuz doughnut fed porker tastes like milk fed veal.
We were drinking out in the sun,
When this boar in blue showed up to try and spoil our fun
Started out front as a diversion tactic,
While the rest of the guys went up to the attic,
Opened up the window and jumped down on his head,
And they beat him with forty-ouncers till he was dead
Pig roast! It's my favorite meal
Pig roast! Let's hear you squeal
Pig roast! It's a hell of a deal
Cuz doughnut fed porker tastes like milk fed veal.
Officer friendly is now an entree.
He's been turning on the rotisserie all day.
Well it looks like the piggy couldn't stand the heat
Now he's just pork, the other white meat
Tenderize him with his own night stick,
And cut him into pork-chops juicy and thick
Pig roast! It's my favorite meal
Pig roast! Let's hear you squeal
Pig roast! It's a hell of a deal
Cuz doughnut fed porker tastes like milk fed veal.

Killer Ratings
Got the weapons and the target picked out,
Everything's set to go
The escape route's clear the cameras are rolling,
It's gonna be a real big show.
We'll kill for out fifteen minutes,
Gonna be prime time terrorists
Got no dogma or agenda baby,
Everyone's on the list
I'll show ya something that's really cool,
With fertilizer and diesel fuel.
Gonna be on television,
with a prime time dose of terrorism.
We don't send no letters out,
To claim responsibility
We send the VHS straight to CNN,
So everyone will see
I'll show ya something that's really cool,
With fertilizer and diesel fuel.
Gonna be on television,
with a prime time dose of terrorism.
We don't kill for politics
But we'll massacre for higher ratings
We got some bombing planned for sweeps week,
That should be really entertaining.
The assassination video's,
Gone straight to number one
We'll be endorsed by Klashnikov,
And Semtex before we're done
We got a dozen hostages,
Tied up in the basment
We dress 'em up in tutus,
And give 'em enemas for entertainment
if our demands aren't met the new tonight,
Will show them being killed
We want thirty-million helicopters,
And a dollar bill
I'll show ya something that's really cool,
With fertilizer and diesel fuel.
Gonna be on television,
with a prime time dose of terrorism.
We'll hijack a plane to Hollywood
To get the recognition that we should.
We're telegenic terrorists,
With agents, lawyers, and publicists

Soldiers Of Foreskin
Hassidic psychos with a twist,
A crazed obbsession for performing Bris
All in black with long side-locks,
And wire strippers for your cocks.
Keep your trousers zippered up tight
Meshugana Moils out tonight
They've got a contract out on you head
They'll circumsive you in your bed
They'll strap you down and prune your putz
Don't wiggle or you'll loose your nuts.
Keep your trousers zippered up tight
Meshugana Moils out tonight
Rabbis with a scalpel to grind
Hold still while they peel your rind
If you dont let them Skin your pud
How can you get barmitzvaed?
Keep your trousers zippered up tight
Meshugana Moils out tonight
You goyim had best watch your backs
Soldiers of foreskin attack!
SOLDIERS OF FORESKIN!!!
SOLDIERS OF FORESKIN!!!
SOLDIERS OF FORESKIN!!!
Hassidic psychos with a twist,
A crazed obbsession for performing Bris
All in black with long side-locks,
And wire strippers for your cocks.
Keep your trousers zippered up tight
Meshugana Moils out tonight
You goyim had best watch your backs
Soldiers of foreskin attack!

Be My Alibi
A life of crimes not easy, sometimes you need some help
Someone to share the risks with, and to help you spend the wealth
Some one to run the shredder, or to help you dig a hole
But lying on the witness stand's the most important role
Show me that you love me true
You know I can't help what I do
You know I'd do the same for you
Be my alibi!
Where was I on the fifth of May?
I was here with you all day
Tell the pigs to go away
Be my alibi!
When I come home at night With blood up to my elbows,
Skin beneath my fingernails, and brains stuck to my toes,
Let's get the story straight because the cops are on their way
Just sit tight, and listen, and I'll tell you what to say.
Show me that you love me true
You know I can't help what I do
You know I'd do the same for you
Be my alibi!
Where was I on the fifth of May?
I was here with you all day
Tell the pigs to go away
Be my alibi!
Don't ask any question about the money in the closet
You'll get your share later just foget you ever saw it
Share and share alike, that's the way it's gotta be,
Even if it's gonna make you an accessory
Show me that you love me true
You know I can't help what I do
You know I'd do the same for you
Be my alibi!
Where was I on the fifth of May?
I was here with you all day
Tell the pigs to go away
Be my alibi!
I'm gonna be indicted for that last bank robbery
You've got to tell the jury that it really wasn't me
Just remember what to say when you're on the stand
I'm sure that everything will go exactly like we planned
Show me that you love me true
You know I can't help what I do
You know I'd do the same for you
Be my alibi!
Where was I on the fifth of May?
I was here with you all day
Tell the pigs to go away
Be my alibi!
Be my alibi!

Don't Ask Why
What's the point in asking why I do the things I do?
I don't know myself so how'm I gonna answer you?
Stupidity comes naturally, don't care if that sounds dumb
Don't remember what I did last night but I bet I had some fun
Don't ask why, don't ask, I don't even know
Don't ask why, don't ask why, I've just gotta go
Don't ask why, don't ask why, I don't really care
Don't ask why, don't ask why, Guess I'm not all there
Live fast, die young, and never reproduce
Cuz' the past is gone, the present sucks, and the future ain't no use
I'm a hedonistic, narcissistic, pessimistic fool
Death and mindless violence are the only things I think are cool
Don't ask why, don't ask, I don't even know
Don't ask why, don't ask why, I've just gotta go
Don't ask why, don't ask why, I don't really care
Don't ask why, don't ask why, Guess I'm not all there
What's the point in asking why I do the things I do?
I don't know myself so how'm I gonna answer you?
Stupidity comes naturally, don't care if that sounds dumb
Don't remember what I did last night but I bet I had some fun
Don't ask why, don't ask, I don't even know
Don't ask why, don't ask why, I've just gotta go
Don't ask why, don't ask why, I don't really care
Don't ask why, don't ask why, Guess I'm not all there
Don't ask why
Don't ask why

My America
Rush Limbaugh don't know shit about,
"The Way Things Ought To Be"
Let's over throw the government,
leave everything to me
I've got a plan, yea
you could call it a vision.
I'll be the dictator
and make all the decisions.
This is my America,
that's how it's gonna be,
I've always wanted my own
nuclear capability
This is my America,
that's how it's gonna be,
This is my America
one nation under me.
This is my America
This is my America
This is my America
This is my America
I've got a plan to deal with all the
sickos on death row,
Gladiator fights'll
be your new favorite show
Confiscate the crack babies
from the hospitals,
Micro-chips in their brains make
cyborg soldiers of 'em all
This is my America,
that's how it's gonna be,
a hedonist police state
from sea to shining sea
This is my America,
that's how it gonna be,
This is my America,
All hail Me!
All hail Me!
All hail Me!
All hail Me!
Concentration camps
for everyone I think's a jerk
That'll be most everyone
and they'll do all the work
Dissidents are put to death
nightly on the tube
Executions will continue
until morale improves.
This is my America,
That's how its gonna be,
I've always wanted my own
nuclear capability
This is my America,
That's how its gonna be,
This is my America,
one nation under me
This is my America x 8

Machine Gun Etiquette
It's always been my fondest dream'
I saw one in a magazine,
And sent my order off six weeks ago
Today a package came for me,
From the Thompson company,
The postman smile and winked
and seemed to know.
It was a Tommy-gun
Model M1-45
And as I opened it up,
I was the happiest boy alive
You know I'd have a lot more fun,
if only I had a machine-gun
You know I'd get alot more done,
if only I had a machine-gun
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh!
My own machine-gun
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh!
My own machine-gun
It's always been my fondest dream,
A hundred round drum magazine,
To write my name in lead
upon the wall
I'll open up my violin case,
Point my heater at your face,
I'll make you dance and
have a fucking ball
Just like Dillenger,
And Bonnie & Clyde.
Machine-gun etiquette's
How they lived and died
You know I'll have a lot more fun,
now that I have a machine-gun
You know I'll het a lot more done,
now that I have a machine-gun
Public enemy number one,
now that I have a machine-gun
In the dog day after-noon sun,
now that I have a machine-gun
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh!
My own machine-gun
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh!

Downtown
Baby since you went away,
Things they haven't gone my way
My dog just died and my car did too,
I just got fired and the rent is due.
You broke my heart so now I have to kill you,
I'll go downtown, and buy a gun, and that's what I'll do
You broke my heart so now I have to kill you,
I'll go downtown, and buy a gun, and that's what i'll do
You put my stuff out on the lawn
My records melted in the sun
You broke my heart and you broke my nose.
You killed my cat and you burnt my clothes
So I'll go downtown and I'll buy me a gun
Walk around and have some fun
Smokin' crack and crackin' jokes
Shootin' junk and shootin' folks
You lost my money at the track
Found out you gave me the clap
Your daddy's gonna litigate
Cuz you're sixteen and I'm twenty-eight
You broke my heart so now I have to kill you,
I'll go downtown, and buy a gun, and that's what I'll do
You broke my heart so now I have to kill you,
I'll go downtown, and buy a gun, and that's what i'll do
You drank my beer and did my drugs,
Infested my whole house with bugs
You gave my leather to another guy
I've got a gun and now you're gonna die
You broke my heart so now I have to kill you,
I'll go downtown, and buy a gun, and that's what I'll do
You broke my heart so now I have to kill you,
I'll go downtown, and buy a gun, and that's what i'll do

Last Generation
It's not just a choice it's a responsibilty
Let's not just keep it legal let's make it mandatory
A "final solution" for all of humanity
We'll be the last generation and end the insanity
Don't breed! Don't breed!
That's the last thing that we need,
It's just another mouth to feed
Don't breed! Don't breed
The next generation is fucked up already
Mass sterilization before they reach puberty
I don't want my tax dollars paying for pregnancies
It's more cost effective to pay for vasectomies
Don't breed! Don't breed!
That's the last thing that we need,
It's just another mouth to feed
Don't breed! Don't breed
Don't breed! Don't breed!
That's the last thing that we need,
It's just another mouth to feed
Don't breed! Don't breed
It's not just a choice it's a responsibilty
Let's not just keep it legal let's make it mandatory
A "final solution" for all of humanity
We'll be the last generation and end the insanity

When I Win The Lottery
I'm sick of sitting at home
because I don't have an cash
My cable got cut off
so I watch re-runs of M*A*S*H
if money dont't buy happiness
then i don't know what does
if I had some I'd buy some booze,
at least I'd have a buzz.
They say that money's power,
and power's what corrupts.
Well corrupt me quick, I'm really bored
and I could use the bucks
The day will come, I'll get what's mine,
I know the world owes me.
And all my friends will ride along,
when I win the lottery
When I win the lottery
My life will be a fantasy,
A tribute to my vanity.
That borders on insanity.
Hold court behind a barbed wire fence.
The king of jaded innocence,
A diletante of decadence,
The incarnation of excess
My house will be a pleasure dome
just like Kubli-Khan's
With a basement shooting range
so I can play with all my guns.
I'll buy a liquor store
to deliver just to me
And live-in prostitutes
will fulfill my every fantasy
I'll hire washed up metal bands
to play there every day,
I'll fill my swimming pool up
to the rim the Tanquray,
Have a stable full of midgets
that I'll train out in the yard,
And hire old pro wrestlers
to be my body guards.
When I win the lottery
My life will be a fantasy,
A tribute to my vanity.
That borders on insanity.
A lifestyle of debauchery,
Profanity and sodomy
I'm sick of sitting at home
because I don't have an cash
My cable got cut off
so I watch re-runs of M*A*S*H
if money dont't buy happiness
then i don't know what does
if I had some I'd buy some booze,
at least I'd have a buzz.

When I win the lottery
My life will be a fantasy,
A tribute to my vanity.
That borders on insanity.
Hold court behind a barbed wire fence.
The king of jaded innocence,
A diletante of decadence,
The incarnation of excess
When I win the lottery
My life will be a fantasy,
A tribute to my vanity.
That borders on insanity.
A lifestyle of debauchery,
Profanity and sodomy

Beer Shits
Beer shits!! Beer shits!!
Run to the crapper again
Will it ever end
I think I need Depends
I think I've got the bends
Beer shits!! Beer shits!!
Sliders coming through.
Farting fiery goo.
Spraying out my guts
This morning really sucks
Beer shits that's the pits!!
My sphincter's shot to hell
Beer shits that's the pits!!
I'm dying from the smell
Beer shits that's the pits!!
I'm puking out my ass
Beer shits that's the pits!!
How long can this last?
Drinking beer till dawn
Something's going wrong
squatting on the bowl
Fire in the hole!!
Beer shits!
The toilet's overloaded
Beer shits!
The septic tank exploded
Beer shits!
Castles and cheap beer.
Beer shits!
That combo should be feared
Been drinking for two days
The price it will be paid
Intestines start to churn
Will I ever learn?
Drinkin beer till dawn
Something's going wrong
squatting on the bowl
Fire in the hole!!
Beer shits!!

The List
You cut me off in traffic, Butt in front of me in line.
One day you'll get what's coming but till then I'll bide my time
Rude waitresses and waiters, the assholes at the DMV,
And that macho jocko drunk whose trying to pick a fight with me.
You're on the lost.
You're on the list. Of people who I owe some payback to.
You're on the list. You're number seven-hundred, thirty-two
You're on the list. You won't be laughing when I get to you
You're on the list. Whoa-oh!!
From the cop who pulled me over to the bitch who stood me up,
To the asshole that I work for.(Your name is at the top.)
I'm coming for you one by one that you can depend.
The one who laughs the bests the one who's laughing at the end
You're on the list.
You're on the list. Of people who I owe some payback to.
You're on the list. You're number seven-hundred, thirty-two
You're on the list. You won't be laughing when I get to you
You're on the list. Whoa-oh!!
You abused my friendship, you stole from me and lied.
I could have just accepted it, I could have sat and cried
Instead I've got plans for you, ones you'll never know,
Till I show up least expected no matter where you go.
You're on the list.
You're on the list. Of people who I owe some payback to.
You're on the list. You're number seven-hundred, thirty-two
You're on the list. You won't be laughing when I get to you
You're on the list. Whoa-oh!!
You're on the list!

Tour
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, play
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, get faced
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, no pay
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, fuck you!
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, play
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, get faced
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, no pay
Drive, sleep, McDonald's, fuck you!

We Are The Drunx
We are the drunks!
We are the drunks!
You's all are punks!
Cuz We Are THE DRUNX!!!

Stuck on Stupid (1996)
Malicious Mischief
throw a ten pound box of
roofing nails onto Hwy. 94
got nothing better to do than watch
the cars crash cause my lifes a bore
chainsaw down some power poles
and leave people in the dark
plant anti-personnel mines
on the bike paths in the park
malicious mishief
and my body count grows higher
standing in the warm glow
of a 4 alarm house fire
malicious mishief
bring the city to its knees
a living nightmare for police
and insurance companies
put pirahnas in the swimming pools
in the ritzy part of town
cross out rival gangsters tags
and watch em gun each other down
steal a bunch of cotter pins
from the theme-park rides
watch TV the next day to see
how many people died
shoot tear gas in the windows
of a crowded trendy bar
watch the yuppies trample each other
from the safety of my car

Kill Yourself
well you say its always darkest
just before it turns pitch black
if you ever had a good time
you'd probably have a heart attack
you've only got two moods
self pity and depression
I'm really fucking sick of it
so let me give you a suggestion
Kill yourself, Kill yourself, Kill yourself
death might be fun why dont you try and see
Kill yourself, Kill yourself, Kill yourself
just put us all out of your misery
you think the worlds against you
but you dring it on yourself
i think you need a doctor
maybe Kavorkian can help
lets have your funeral now
I'll run you over with the hearse
death might improve your attitude
you know it couldn't get any worse

Hate On
my minds out of control
its spinning downwards in a whirl
ive got a hate on full of spite
and I'm out to sodomize the world
I'm a hatred engorged member
of the human race
I'll take the world by the hair
and shoot my malice in your face
my lifes a crime of violence
thats just how its gotta be
I'm going to violate
every living thing i see
all you fucking hippes
I'll show you all what loves
really worth
I'll make you watch at gun point
while i rape your mother earth
don't care about your age, sex
race or class
your all gonna take it
up the ass
I don't care what you
do or what you say
you're just a fucking
cum dump anyway

Murder At The Senior Prom
believe it or not i wan't always this fucking cool
i used to get a lot of shit when i was back in school
but one day i turned the tables on all those assholes
I filled em' all full of 9mm bullet holes
murder at the senior prom
mass murder at the senior prom x2
I padlocked the gym doors the night of the senior prom
under the bleachers i planted several pipe bombs
stood up on the balcony sub-machine gun in my hand
said "I'm your new prom king, does everybody understand?"
rounded up all the jocks who used to chase me home from school
tied their hands and feet and pushed them in the swimming pool
lined all the teachers who flunked me up against a wall
then one by one I stuck a butcher knife into them all
found that little fuck who got me busted for smokin' dope
now he's hanging from the flag pole kicking at the end of a rope
last but certainly not least when everybody else was dead
I sodomized the cheerleaders and then i cut off all their heads

Ephedrine
I take it all the time
it costs five ninety nine
it always does the trick for me
its not heaven but
it always gets me up
and its the best of legal speed
i'm on ephedrine
I dont know where my penis went
ive been awake for 90 days
I take a dozen hits
throw a ballistic fit
then i stare off into space
thought it would always be
a distant fantasy
to buy white crosses at the store
been drinkin like a jerk
i gotta go to work
so I'll take a dozen more
I'll smoke a another pack
another heart attack
ain't sp unusual for me
I'll run around the block
I still can't find my cock
and I don't know where it could be

Beer Bong Vomitorium
There's a Party House I know about that's miles outside of town
A den of vice and sickness of infamy and renown
A million dollar mansion with graffiti on the walls
Servants bearing frothing pitchers skateboard up & down the halls
Sellout major label bands that beg to play this place
There equipment all gets stolen and the crowd spits in there face
There's an endless loop of snuff films on the big screen in the den
The bouncer at the door's armed with a tazor and a sten
Its a cross between a roman orgy, times square sex show punk-rock party
A manic beer soaked punk fest in a castle on a hill and it starts on Friday night
And then it lasts the weekend long
Theres mistress Lisa's dungeon for anyone who wands a flogging
The bars got top-shelf liquor and forget about the bill
Cause its two dollars at he door if you bring your own beer-bong
GG Allin's freeze-dried body's in a glass case in the lobby
Theres porno stars performing on the 2nd stage upstairs
And Traci lords filmiest in the auditorium
Watch the fireworks on LSD all the booze and drugs ore free
The neighbors all live miles away and so nobody cares
About the sickness of the beer-bong vomitorium
Toilet slaves in all the jons beg to eat your feces
Chef tell is in the kitchen cooking up endangered species
Mandatory beer-bongs every hour on the hour
Speed heaped up on the mirrors like five pound bags of flour
People getting bare assed and fuckin on the lawn
All the junkies get free fixes and they do on the Jon
Some drunkard in the backyard got a lawn dart in the eye
Its really not a party there until somebody dies
Sobriety is such a bore
Drink and puke and drink some more
At the beer-bong vomitorium
At the beer-bong vomitouium
Beers on tap in all the sinks
Drink to live and live to drink
At the beer-bong vomitorium
At the beer-bong vomitorium


"We're Not Punx..."  (1993)
Nuke Seattle
[Chorus:]
Let's nuke nuke nuke nuke nuke Seatle
It'll be a vicious bloody battle
Let's nuke nuke nuke nuke nuke Seatle
We'll slaughter em like a bunch of cattle

I wanna see Seatle in flames
Cuz there bands all sound the same
PearlGarden is totally gay
Let's just blow the fuckers away
Seatle gone in a mushroom cloud
I'll push the button and I'll be damn proud

[Repeat Chorus]

Let's make a crater of the pacific northwest
We'll get Nirvana along with the rest
No more hyped up poseur scene
We'll start all over, wipe the slate clean
It'll be a quick and easy way
To make those stupid fuckers pay
Now that Seatles out of the way
Let's go fuckin' nuke L.A.

Blowin' Chunks
Drank a twelve pack and smoked six bowls
Now it's starting to takes its toll
Can't hold it in for too long
You're gonna do the technicolor yawn
Now you've got the vicious spins
Doing pennance for your drunkin sins
I think its time to clear throat
I think you know the anecdote

[Chorus:]
Great big piles of chewed up food
Breakfast lunch and dinner too
There's gonna be some wreckage dude
On your shoes

Just exploded on the hallway floor
Couldn't make it to the bathroom door
Crawl across the tiles on your hands and knees
Bathroom floor stinking of pee
Dryheaves, convulsions, wish you were dead
You pass out and you puke in bed
I think its time your clear your throat
I think you know the anecdote

[Repeat Chorus]

Blowin' Chunks!!! [4x]

[Repeat Chorus]

Eat A Bowl Of Fuck
Really?!... do I actually have to write it out?

Cracklab
I've got a cracklab in my basement
I'm a shining example of a junior acheivement
Cooking up drugs on my chemistry set
Twenty-seven grand a week is what i get


[Chorus:]
I've got a cracklab in my basement
Please don't tell my mommy on me
I've got a cracklab in my basement
Every kid needs a hobby

I'm the only kid on my block with an uzi
All the other fourth graders are jealous of me
I'll be a millionaire by the time I'm thirteen
I'm a perfect example of an American dream

[Repeat Chorus]

My parents are dumb they'll never suspect
And if they do I'll just tell em its a science fair project
My cub scout troop does the distribution
And I'm thinking of expanding into prostitution

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge]
You mix it up, You cook it down
You serve it up out on the playground
Crack Lab

[Repeat first verse]
[Repeat chorus]
[Repeat bridge]

High Impact Camping
Load the Beerbuster in the truck
We're going camping don't give a fuck
About the wildlife or the trees
Fuck the birds and fuck the bees
Got a chainsaw to blaze the trail
DDT to keep the bugs away
M-16's for hunting deer
And a keg of Bud, the king of beers

[Chorus:]
Punk rock party in the great outdoors
Lots of beer & drugs & whores
Nothing could be more hard-core
Than camping with the Quincy Punx

Diesel generator in the camp
To run the stage lights and the amps
Plus bug zapper neon lights
And groupie sluts in fishnet tights
A gallon of gas to start the fire
It'll be some chipmunks funeral pyre
We'll shoot ones with our BB guns
And chop em up just for fun

[Repeat Chorus]

The campsites full of broken glass
If the rangers come we'll kick their ass
Our six-pack holders drown the ducks
But who really gives a fuck
At dawn we've left a blackened crater
We're leaving now but we'll be back later
To add to the pile of beer soaked trash
And burn more trees down to ash

[Chorus 2]
Its a wasteland kind of scene
Tree-huggers think we're really mean
Nothing could be more obscene
Than camping with the Quincy Punx

Tina
Now that I'm blind I can finally see
It's a beautiful thing that'd happened to me
Among the living dead is where I wanna be
Let me eat your brain and I'm sure that you'll agree

[Chorus:]
Oh Tina if you really love me
You'll let me eat your brain

My life has gone now and passed away
But death is a party I'm here to say
Send more cops Come out to play
Come on little baby and I'll show you the way

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge] Let me eat your brain [4x]

[Repeat Chorus]

Out in the graveyard in the acid rain
I know a way that you can ease my pain
Try it once and you'll never be the same
Come on be my ghoulfriend and let me eat your brain

[Repeat Chorus]

Young & Dumb
Well you say my life is going nowhere
Young & dumb and I just don't care
I've got no money and I've got no job
And I lay around like a lazy slob
Walking down the street, kicking up trash
Slashing your tires and smashing your glass
Young & dumb nothing better to do
Then have another beer and another lude

[Chorus:]
Young & dumb and there's nothing better to do
Young & dumb I'm so bored with you
Young & dumb and I'm high all the time
Young & dumb and I like it just fine

Well I do nothing all day but I got no time
I think I must be losing my mind
I can't relate to reality
I can't believe the things around me
There's never anything going on
Everything I do is wrong
Young & dumb nothing better to do
Then have another beer and another lude

[Repeat Chorus]

I Hate Coffee
I hate the way it smells, I hate the way it tastes
I'll take a pot of coffee, throw it in your face
Coffee shops suck shit, let's burn em to the ground
Meet a coffee fag and on his face I'll pound

[Chorus:] I hate coffee [14x]

Mrs Olsen I'll burn at the stake
Juan Valdez his sack I'll break
Coffee really sucks it fills me with such hate
The only thing thats worse is fucking coffeemate

[Repeat Chorus]

We're all anti-coffee soldiers
We'll drown those hippies in a pot of Folgers
Cappucino and espresso too
if you like coffee then I hate you

[Repeat Chorus]

Safety Pins
I don't care if people stare
i burn thier fucking eyes
and its ok the things they say
i know there fucking lies
cycle boots, and leopard skin
studs n spikes and safety pins
stick up their nose dont like my clothes
their just fucking whores
i got a use for steel toed boots
kick down you fucking doors
style like, razor blades
style like broken glass
well if you can't handle that
kiss my fucking ass
got the pride down deep inside
to show some fucking balls
and i dont care if people stare
their fucking barbie dolls

Kamikaze
My life is such a fucking bore
I laugh so hard I'm gonna choke
I think I'm gonna end it all
By shooting up a shopping mall
I'll go out in a blaze of glory
I'll be a front page headline story
Take a thousand people with me
They're gonna call me Kamakazi

[Chorus:]
Kamakazi! Kamakazi!
Crash and Burn

Crashing through the big front doors
in a jacked up 4X4
Uzi blazing in each hand
As I take out the hotdog stand
Lots of mall rats getting sprayed
With fragments from my hand grenades
Toddlers trampled by the crowds
As through the hard my juggernaut plows

Kamakazi! Kamakazi! Crash & Burn!
Kamakazi! Kamakazi! Crash & Burn!
Kamakazi! Kamakazi! No Return!
Kamakazi! Kamakazi! Crash & Burn!

Watch the poseurs try to flee
As I frag the Sam Goody
Rent-o-cops just went their pants
As I spray lead and make 'em dance
Go out in a blaze of glory
Be a front page headline story
All the psychos idolize me
Copy cat Kamakazis

[Repeat Chorus]

Mutants (Shall Feast On Thine Carcass)
I've got a bomb shelter in my backyard
With a years supply of beer, some guns and a deck of cards
Just me and the band a couple girls with big tits
We're having a party on the eve of the apocalypse

The Punx'll survive the nuclear blast
Then the world will be ours at last
We'll ransack the local armory
And get all kids of high tech weaponry
Living in the rubble of World War III
Safe in a fortified brewery
With motion detectors and claymore mines
To back our No Tresspassing signs

We'll be tyrants and do as we please
Enslave the pitiful refugees
We'll be a new society
The most decadent in history
With sex-slave girls on golden chains
And bloody arena combat games
Exotic grisly executions
Are weekend party institutions

[Chorus:]
Nuclear castastrophe
Armageddon World War III
The end of the world but not for me
It's my post punkrock nuke fantasy

On safari in the forbidden zone
where flesh-eating zombies roam
Our enemies staked out as bait
Lure mutants to where we wait
We let them have their ghoulish feast
Then open up and spray the beasts
So just remember if you cross us
Mutants shall feast on thine carcass

[Repeat Chorus]

Burning survivalists out of their shelters
Omega man singing Helter Skelter
Road warriors with beers in hand
Amrageddons offical band

Gun Control
357 or sawed off shotgun
You've got a right to choose your weapon
Outlaw guns, only outlaws'll have 'em
While I can, I'm gonna go and get me some

[Chorus:]
Want me to give up my gun?
You gotta pry it from my cold dead hand
Want me to give up my weapon?
Ya better be a better shot than I am

Gun control means hitting your target
Fuck with me, lets see how far you get
This is the time, this is the hour
For peace through superior fire power

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:] Guns dont kill people, I do! [4x]

I've got my sixpack and my trusty handgun
Waiting around for world war three to come
Gotta have protection out on the freeway
The person with the biggest gun has got the right of way

[Repeat chorus 2x]
[Repeat second verse]
[Repeat bridge]

Under Ny Wheels
I've got a customized hearse with razor edged fins
A fifty-seven Caddilac thats blacker than sin
It's got a four-fifty-four and spikes on the grill
I've got a license to drive, I've got a license to kill
Cruising down main street on a saturday night
See some small town muscle head out looking for a fight
Screech around the corner by the local malt shop
Take out all the hicks and a couple of jocks

Headlights pin you down with fear
Screeching rubber's the last thing you'll hear
Sudden impact's all you'll feel
As you're crumpled under my wheels

Back in the city there's lots more prey
And if looks like things are going my way
See a big flock of yuppies at the art bar uptown
Jump the curb on Lake Street and run em all down

Splatter Punx
Fuck you and your political scene
Give me a Fangoria magazine
Wann talk philosophy? Well maybe later
I'm watching Bride Of Reanimator

[Chorus:]
Violence, Gore, and Mutilation
Dismemberment Decapitation

Blood & guts & gore & veins in my teeth
They just call me a blood-sucking freak
Chainsaws and drill bits dripping with gore
That'd what I use my power tools for

[Repeat Chorus]

Hellraiser, Hellbound, and Evil Dead
The Wizard of Gore and Color Me Blood Red
Werewolves & vampires & toxic zombies
And pyscho slashers who kill their mommies

[Repeat Chorus]

Stoopid People
Can't tell your ass from a hole in the ground
You'd lose your fucking head if it wasn't screwed on
You smile and you nod like you understand
I'll slap that grin off your face with the back of my hand

You're a drroling fucking moron with a hole in your head
A shit talking veggie who'd be better off dead
An imbecile, an idiot a perpetual sap
You've gotta read the directions on a child-proof cap

You're stupid and you think it's funny
I bet you believe in the Easter Bunny
You're stupid and you thinks its cool
You think its cute when you play the fool

[Repeat first verse]

I hate stupid people [12x]

[Repeat second verse]

No Brain, No Pain
I'm sick of reality, I don't know what to do
I guess I'll just shoot some smack and maybe sniff some glue
If you think you're going nuts from working hard all day
Just relax and do some drugs cuz you know what they say

[Chorus:]
No brain no pain [4x]

Eating pills like they were candy, drinking lots of beer
I took so much acid I'll be tripping for a year
I'm gonna freebase babypowder, shoot up anti-freeze
Do a line of gunpowder and hope I dont sneeze

[Repeat Chorus]

I like to mainline vodka and it goes straight to my head
I like to smoke asbestos but I think I should be dead
Marijauna's mellow and cocaine is pretty nice
But you'll be taking Drano now if you take my advice

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

The Jerry Lewis Telethon
I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon
And raise big bucks for MDA
Cuz Jerry raises millions every year
And we'll equally divide the pay
I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon
With great big famous Vegas superstars
And that jerk with three trained oranguatans
We'll play real fast and smash our guitars

[Chorus:]
Slam dancing with Jerry's kids
And having lots of fun
Singing swearwords on the air
Yeah, Jerry's number one
He'd say we're number one till he heard us play
Then he'd kick us off the show
But it's too late, we're here to stay
And we aren't gonna go

I wanna do the natural act with Charo
Tango with old men in pink golf pants
I wanna play killer thrashing punk
So even Jerry will slamdance
I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon
And booze backstage with Ed McMahon
Your pledges will buy us lots of beer
So call right now and pledge a hundred grand

[Repeat Chorus]

I Don't Care
I don't care what you do
I'm not gonna do it I don't like you
Well you can't be what you love
I know that you wont get far

You're gonna die
You're gonna die
You're gonna die
One day

I see your faces you say
I know that you are just play
One day I'll see
The real you
That'll be the day you're through

You're gonna die
You're gonna die
You're gonna die
One day

One, two, fuck you
Me at you it's war
Not gonna take your shit no more
One day I'll get revenge
That'll be your end

You're gonna die
You're gonna die
You're gonna die
One day

Well I don't care
Well I don't care
Well I don't care

I Hate Everyone (Equally)
I hate Christians and I hate Jews
I hate my friends and I hate you
I hate the blacks and whites and reds
I hope to see them all dead

[Chorus:]
I'm not prejeduced, cuz I hate everyone
And don't you ask me why, cuz I just think its fun

I hate the politically correct
I hate jocks and I hate rednecks
I hate the corporate fucking clones
I hate faggots and homophobes

[Repeat Chorus]

I hate capitalists and I hate commies
I hate daddies and I hate mommies
I hate straightedgers and I hate drunks
I hate skinhead and I hate punks

[Repeat Chorus]

Fuck You (If You Can't Take A Joke)
you say were just a joke
well we are but you dont get it
you think your so progressive
but you know your talking bullshit
do you really think i want you to
when i say suck my cock
if you do then maybe you
shouldn't listen to punkrock
fuck you if you can't take
a joke! fuck you
i said i hate everyone
well thats not quite true
if you got no sense of humour
than i really do hate you
not because of what you are
or what you might believe
youre reading too much into it
can't see the forest for the
trees fuck you.

Five State Killing Spree
Sitting in the backseat of a stolen car
Wondering if we're gonna get very far
Pocket full of bullets for the gun in my hand
Nothing to lose cuz we're allready damned
The needle on the dash says 105
The needle in my arm makes me feel so alive
Reds in my head and I'm doing just fine
Ten more miles and we'll be at the state line

[Chorus:]
Gonna see my face on TV
Americas most wanted is me
Gotta keep running if we wanna be free
We're on a five state killing spree

Got a bunch of drugs and a trunk full of booze
We've killed six cops so we got nothing to lose
Living on the run stealing everything we need
We got high quality pharmecutical speed
Booze & guns & ammo & a bunch of porno mags
Stacks of twenty dollar bills stuffed in plastic bags
Tossing fast-food styrfoam out the window as we go
'I Wanna be a Dyke' blasting on the stereo

[Repeat Chorus]

Two weeks later, can't beleive we're still alive
Roadblocks and shoot-outs still we manage to survive
Never leave a witness who has seen our face
We make sure to shoot everybody in the place
See us on the news each and every night at ten
Psychos on the freeway in a gunfight again
Never going home cuz its a pirates life for me
Me and all my friends on a five state killing spree

[Repeat Chorus]













All lyrics c Quincy Punx/Satanic Warchicken Music BMI